Frustrating Spouses

Sometimes....spouses can be frustrating...No Duh?

From time to time, my spouse can be very frustrating.  Not so much in the usual way that spouses can be frustrating....but because of the wishy washiness. I truly believe that it is okay for a woman to work outside the home and pay some of the bills.  However, I do agree that bank accounts should be separated if one or both spouses are controlling.  Not to say that you should not be mindful of spending, because you definitely should follow God's direction for spending. If one or both spouses always try to make the other fill guilty or always want 'thanks' (over and over and over) for things they help with and make the other person feel guilty, then it isn't much of a relationship. One spouse can be kind, but likes to constantly remind the other of how much has been done, even when the other spouse pays back financially what has been given.  It isn't easy being reminded all the time that one has made a mistake and the other helped to repair or repay the mistake. Paying for it for 6 years and counting.... whew. 


Don't get me wrong, the assistance is appreciated, as it should be, but the criticism that goes along with the assistance is really unnecessary.


Things could go better, I guess...on both parts.  So the point is, pray for your spouse, even when they are frustrating..... because the shoe is on the other foot sometimes too....

So today is almost like any other day.... Sunday afternoon...rainy outside and kinda blah. I had the question posed to me "what is the matter, lately you seem as though something is really bothering you?".... my answer:

Two boys, one graduating from high school and living 8 hours away....all the things that should be exciting for his senior year... I am missing being a part of. Oh, I'm plugged in to all the things happening through the school...like the fact that he won "Life of the Party" for the Senior Class of 2012. I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself, but in a way, I am feeling sorry for myself. I missed my oldest son's graduation year as well...because I live so far away. I know that they are both in God's hands and that He is watching over them.... I know too that God is watching over me as well. My heart is breaking this year. More so than ever before.... I've lived in a different city from both my boys for over 5 years, over 9 for one of those two boys. God only gives us as much as we can handle....I am still relying on HIM...doesn't make it any easier.

My graduate has a girlfriend...she is a senior at a different high school. He has gotten extremely close to her and her family. I truly believe that they are not suppose to be together as a couple because of several factors. However, I am praying, with several other prayer warriors that the situation will go in the correct direction and that God will be the center of no matter what direction that relationship holds. She is a wonderful athlete, extremely smart and lovely young lady. There are immaturity issues that worry me.... The maturity will come with time. My youngest tends to have a soft heart, and wants to please her with helping her out. They volunteer at a downtown church in the city where they live and help feed the homeless. My prayer also is for their hearts to seek God first not each other first. God first.

My oldest is getting married later this year. Again, I am not there to assist with anything in that area. Long distance assistance can be done, but it is really driving me crazy. His fiance, is an amazing young lady. They are continuing to seek God's will in all of their decisions.

My oldest has taken on the responsibility of having the youngest live with him until graduation. Their father has moved to another state due to a job opportunity....which leaves the younger one without full time parents there in the same city. These are my thoughts and prayers....

My spouse, does not seem to understand why I am worried or concerned. The comments are that I should let the EX handle the $$ situation, I cannot do that. The EX is not reliable in assisting with funds for the boys.... Yes, he (the EX) had them living with him for several years and took good care of them, but now that he has lost almost everything, he does not have the funds to assist.

Years ago, I got myself into some financial boo-boo by going back to school. I am still paying off things. When I think I'm paying things down, something else comes up where I have to pay for repairs to my sons truck, or senior year stuff, etc.

Right now, I am just very discouraged in the situation I am in, the location I am in, and everything seems to be piling on....continually.

I was informed by my sister that my mom is having mini strokes. She is continually drained of energy and is going down fast. Mom is very much a fighter and such a wonderful lady. The time she has spent living with my older sister is good. The strain on my oldest sister has been and is still so overwhelming for her and her husband. Mom does not want to live any where else. Since Mom can still do alot of things by herself, we do not want to move her to a facility. She would not do well in a facility at all.

I feel (my emotions again) that I should be there to help family.... yes I have family here, my husband and my stepson, my mother-in-law and brother-in-law....but I feel that my sons and my mother and sister need me more right now and can't seem to change the situation. I have prayed that God will guide our direction on my husband's job - possible being transferred closer to my family or that God will heal my heart on the desire to move.... Some days it is extremely overwhelming for me. It is hard for me to get up and go to work or do anything. I enjoy blogging because, I know that I am writing my concerns to God and to close friends. I also realize that anyone can probably find my blog, but since it hasn't been read since 2008, I'm pretty sure, it is kinda safe to write.

Those friends that are reading this blog, know that I am praying for you and your concerns as well. Thank you for praying for answers for me.... In the bible study that I am taking, the words were "PRESS in to God/God's Word"....and you will know HIM and His will.

Thanks for reading the rambling of an emotional mom/sister/daughter.......

Sometimes Deletion is random....

Well, it has been a while since I have posted to this blog.... since 2008 to be exact. The other day when a friend and I were discussing blogs, I told her about mine. What I didn't realize is that I had set up two similar blogs.... my forgetfulness... Which led to my deleting one of the two. Of course... I deleted the most current blog page. Thus three plus years of writing was deleted. Oh well... here we go again. :)

Over the past several months, I have had several thoughts regarding change. Change can be good... As I have prayed through this 'feeling' of changes coming .... I continue to search. Not sure what the future holds or the changes that are in the wind, only that the overwhelming feeling is there. I DO know that God is in control, no matter what and am at peace with whatever He brings.

There are days that I wonder if the thoughts are geared toward, job change, location change, or just the changes that are happening in my family... such as my mother getting older and needing more care; my sister as she is the main caregiver for my mom and her health and strength to maintain the current rigorous schedule; my oldest son becoming engaged to the most wonderful Christian young lady; my youngest son and all of his activities during his Senior YEAR of high school.... my husband's job situation... All these thoughts creep into my mind throughout the day.

I am concerned, not worried, about my oldest son and the tests that they are running on him. Need to find out what is causing him to hurt over his entire body. Whether it is rheumatoid arthritis, Lupus or Gout..... it is treatable and God's "got this" as my little buddy Caleb says...

Then in the same breath, my youngest son, who in his 'young years' is much more mature than I was at his age. 17. He has chosen to 'do what it takes' to continue to live in the area that he is in and graduate from high school. He does not have either parent within 500 miles of him. Yet, he has his older brother that is there for him. He rooms with his brother which is awesome, and he works several jobs, maintains a "B" or higher on his report card, dives in to learning more of God's word (he and his big brother). Such a young man, with alot of responsibility on his shoulders... Again... "God's Got This".

Some people reading this blog may have thoughts such as "Why on earth would any parents allow their child to stay/live that far away at the age of 17? Make the child move in with one of the two of you..." Why indeed, because we know that he (my son) is in God's hands and watching out for him, that he is is continuing to seek God's will in all things and more mature than most 17 year old guys.

Granted, at 18 ... I thought I was old enough to get married and I did... So in a way, I was mature for my age.... Still wish I had waited to get married though - Ha.

Even amist the challenges in my life, I am reminded daily of how blessed I am to have friends that pray alongside me, that allow me to pray for them and listen when they need an ear to hear or a shoulder to cry on... truly blessed by God.

I could continue this blog, but I must get back to 'getting things done'! Have a blessed day.