Frustrating Spouses

Sometimes....spouses can be frustrating...No Duh?

From time to time, my spouse can be very frustrating.  Not so much in the usual way that spouses can be frustrating....but because of the wishy washiness. I truly believe that it is okay for a woman to work outside the home and pay some of the bills.  However, I do agree that bank accounts should be separated if one or both spouses are controlling.  Not to say that you should not be mindful of spending, because you definitely should follow God's direction for spending. If one or both spouses always try to make the other fill guilty or always want 'thanks' (over and over and over) for things they help with and make the other person feel guilty, then it isn't much of a relationship. One spouse can be kind, but likes to constantly remind the other of how much has been done, even when the other spouse pays back financially what has been given.  It isn't easy being reminded all the time that one has made a mistake and the other helped to repair or repay the mistake. Paying for it for 6 years and counting.... whew. 


Don't get me wrong, the assistance is appreciated, as it should be, but the criticism that goes along with the assistance is really unnecessary.


Things could go better, I guess...on both parts.  So the point is, pray for your spouse, even when they are frustrating..... because the shoe is on the other foot sometimes too....

So today is almost like any other day.... Sunday afternoon...rainy outside and kinda blah. I had the question posed to me "what is the matter, lately you seem as though something is really bothering you?".... my answer:

Two boys, one graduating from high school and living 8 hours away....all the things that should be exciting for his senior year... I am missing being a part of. Oh, I'm plugged in to all the things happening through the school...like the fact that he won "Life of the Party" for the Senior Class of 2012. I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself, but in a way, I am feeling sorry for myself. I missed my oldest son's graduation year as well...because I live so far away. I know that they are both in God's hands and that He is watching over them.... I know too that God is watching over me as well. My heart is breaking this year. More so than ever before.... I've lived in a different city from both my boys for over 5 years, over 9 for one of those two boys. God only gives us as much as we can handle....I am still relying on HIM...doesn't make it any easier.

My graduate has a girlfriend...she is a senior at a different high school. He has gotten extremely close to her and her family. I truly believe that they are not suppose to be together as a couple because of several factors. However, I am praying, with several other prayer warriors that the situation will go in the correct direction and that God will be the center of no matter what direction that relationship holds. She is a wonderful athlete, extremely smart and lovely young lady. There are immaturity issues that worry me.... The maturity will come with time. My youngest tends to have a soft heart, and wants to please her with helping her out. They volunteer at a downtown church in the city where they live and help feed the homeless. My prayer also is for their hearts to seek God first not each other first. God first.

My oldest is getting married later this year. Again, I am not there to assist with anything in that area. Long distance assistance can be done, but it is really driving me crazy. His fiance, is an amazing young lady. They are continuing to seek God's will in all of their decisions.

My oldest has taken on the responsibility of having the youngest live with him until graduation. Their father has moved to another state due to a job opportunity....which leaves the younger one without full time parents there in the same city. These are my thoughts and prayers....

My spouse, does not seem to understand why I am worried or concerned. The comments are that I should let the EX handle the $$ situation, I cannot do that. The EX is not reliable in assisting with funds for the boys.... Yes, he (the EX) had them living with him for several years and took good care of them, but now that he has lost almost everything, he does not have the funds to assist.

Years ago, I got myself into some financial boo-boo by going back to school. I am still paying off things. When I think I'm paying things down, something else comes up where I have to pay for repairs to my sons truck, or senior year stuff, etc.

Right now, I am just very discouraged in the situation I am in, the location I am in, and everything seems to be piling on....continually.

I was informed by my sister that my mom is having mini strokes. She is continually drained of energy and is going down fast. Mom is very much a fighter and such a wonderful lady. The time she has spent living with my older sister is good. The strain on my oldest sister has been and is still so overwhelming for her and her husband. Mom does not want to live any where else. Since Mom can still do alot of things by herself, we do not want to move her to a facility. She would not do well in a facility at all.

I feel (my emotions again) that I should be there to help family.... yes I have family here, my husband and my stepson, my mother-in-law and brother-in-law....but I feel that my sons and my mother and sister need me more right now and can't seem to change the situation. I have prayed that God will guide our direction on my husband's job - possible being transferred closer to my family or that God will heal my heart on the desire to move.... Some days it is extremely overwhelming for me. It is hard for me to get up and go to work or do anything. I enjoy blogging because, I know that I am writing my concerns to God and to close friends. I also realize that anyone can probably find my blog, but since it hasn't been read since 2008, I'm pretty sure, it is kinda safe to write.

Those friends that are reading this blog, know that I am praying for you and your concerns as well. Thank you for praying for answers for me.... In the bible study that I am taking, the words were "PRESS in to God/God's Word"....and you will know HIM and His will.

Thanks for reading the rambling of an emotional mom/sister/daughter.......

Sometimes Deletion is random....

Well, it has been a while since I have posted to this blog.... since 2008 to be exact. The other day when a friend and I were discussing blogs, I told her about mine. What I didn't realize is that I had set up two similar blogs.... my forgetfulness... Which led to my deleting one of the two. Of course... I deleted the most current blog page. Thus three plus years of writing was deleted. Oh well... here we go again. :)

Over the past several months, I have had several thoughts regarding change. Change can be good... As I have prayed through this 'feeling' of changes coming .... I continue to search. Not sure what the future holds or the changes that are in the wind, only that the overwhelming feeling is there. I DO know that God is in control, no matter what and am at peace with whatever He brings.

There are days that I wonder if the thoughts are geared toward, job change, location change, or just the changes that are happening in my family... such as my mother getting older and needing more care; my sister as she is the main caregiver for my mom and her health and strength to maintain the current rigorous schedule; my oldest son becoming engaged to the most wonderful Christian young lady; my youngest son and all of his activities during his Senior YEAR of high school.... my husband's job situation... All these thoughts creep into my mind throughout the day.

I am concerned, not worried, about my oldest son and the tests that they are running on him. Need to find out what is causing him to hurt over his entire body. Whether it is rheumatoid arthritis, Lupus or Gout..... it is treatable and God's "got this" as my little buddy Caleb says...

Then in the same breath, my youngest son, who in his 'young years' is much more mature than I was at his age. 17. He has chosen to 'do what it takes' to continue to live in the area that he is in and graduate from high school. He does not have either parent within 500 miles of him. Yet, he has his older brother that is there for him. He rooms with his brother which is awesome, and he works several jobs, maintains a "B" or higher on his report card, dives in to learning more of God's word (he and his big brother). Such a young man, with alot of responsibility on his shoulders... Again... "God's Got This".

Some people reading this blog may have thoughts such as "Why on earth would any parents allow their child to stay/live that far away at the age of 17? Make the child move in with one of the two of you..." Why indeed, because we know that he (my son) is in God's hands and watching out for him, that he is is continuing to seek God's will in all things and more mature than most 17 year old guys.

Granted, at 18 ... I thought I was old enough to get married and I did... So in a way, I was mature for my age.... Still wish I had waited to get married though - Ha.

Even amist the challenges in my life, I am reminded daily of how blessed I am to have friends that pray alongside me, that allow me to pray for them and listen when they need an ear to hear or a shoulder to cry on... truly blessed by God.

I could continue this blog, but I must get back to 'getting things done'! Have a blessed day.

Great Loss....

As I write this blog message this evening, I write with a heavy heart. My heart is not heavy because of anyone made it so, it is heavy from the loss of such a wonderful lady. A lady that will not soon be forgotten. Her name was Ollie Marie Bowlin. She spent her life serving our Lord with every breath.

Ollie was the most loving, caring and gentle woman. She passed from this earth and into heaven to be with Jesus today. Smiling and joyously reaching her arms out to the heavens after a long battle with health here on earth.

There is no other term to describe Ollie other than LADY. She was such an inspiration to so many people throughout her life. Her gentle voice, even when she knew someone needed correction (such as grandkids), she knew how to get her point across and still let them know that they were loved dearly.

I had the pleasure of meeting and getting to know Ollie in 1994. She was a wonderful Sunday school teacher for both of my boys - Matthew and Jayson...and for my step-son, RW. She will definitely be missed.

What she didn't want to leave here on earth was her wonderful husband Raymond. She told him last week that she didn't want to leave him alone. His heart is broken because his Ollie is gone from this earth. As a minister, he knows where Ms. Ollie is now, but the hurt is still there for the love he had for his wonderful bride of so many years.

Raymond and Ollie had three children... Joe, Debbie and one other son, Danny.
Raymond will be surrounded by so many people that love him and loved Ollie.

My heart goes out to the remaining members of the family .... but my prayer is that if anyone that does not know Christ as their Savior, please ask someone to tell you about HIM. Ollie would want this to be a definite celebration of her life here on earth and to celebrate the fact that she is in heaven.....

Thank you Ollie for all of the wonderful memories, the hugs, the laughs and for teaching so many about the love of CHRIST!!!

"SALTY"....

"You are the salt of the earth. You are the light of the world" (Matthew 5:13,14 NIV).

Information from my morning devotion..... I pray that I am 'salty' on a continual basis and that my words nor my actions will cause anyone to stumble... only my words and actions to spew what God's wants said... Please read below:

Salt is an effective healing agent. Gargling with salt water helps heal a sore throat, swimming in a salty sea helps heal a skinned knee, and fellowshipping with "salty" Christians helps heal wounded souls by introducing them to spiritual, mental and physical wellness afforded them through a relationship with Jehovah Rapha -- the One who heals.

The most common use of salt is to add flavor, and as Christians, we add flavor to our world. A gourmet cook once told me that salt not only gives food the salty flavor, but it also brings out the natural flavor of the food to which it is added. As Christians, we should bring out the best in other people.
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I thank you God for bringing people in to my life that are prayer warriors, friends and 'salty'....

G.F.I.... How many times do I forget...when life throws curves...?

In my devotion today (below), I realized once again that at times, I forget my G.F.I. I get frustrated, confused and totally upset... Then God sends 'earth angels' and scriptures my way. He is AWESOME and continues to remind me of how much HE loves me. I am truly amazed at how God takes care of us...even during the worst of times (or so we think the times are the worst - when we are in the middle of all the tormoil)...

Enjoy reading the devotion for today..... From CROSSWALK.COM - "Encouragement for the Day".
~ Lisa

September 30, 2008

G.F.I.
Susanne Scheppmann

"Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:6 (NASB)

Devotion:
I pulled in the driveway grateful to be home after a five-day conference. I pressed the remote and the garage door rolled open. Bloodied water trickled toward me as I stepped from my car. I knew immediately what had happened - the freezer had gone out. All the meat had thawed and the bloody, watery juices had drained out of the freezer into a maroon stream that slowly ran toward the driveway. Yuck.

Mark, my husband, was out of town. I stood in my garage disgusted and slightly freaked out. Of course, I called my husband for help. I didn't care if it was late and there was a three-hour time difference between us.

He patiently said, "Check the G.F.I."

"The what?"

"The ground fault interrupter. It's in the electrical outlet where the freezer is plugged in."

Sure enough, the G.F.I. had tripped and in response the freezer shut down. Nothing was technically wrong with the freezer, except now it had hundreds of dollars of rotting food sitting inside it. Because of a tripped G.F.I., my evening turned from one of anticipated relaxation to hours of vexing cleanup.

Isn't our faith sometimes like that, too? We are believing and trusting the Lord, when all of a sudden something unexpected happens -- our own G.F.I (God Faith Interrupter) gets tripped. In response, our faith shuts down and we melt like a gallon of vanilla ice cream in a hot garage.

It's certainly difficult to understand the twists and turns in our journey of faith. When a God Faith Interrupter occurs, we grope in the darkness for something to reassure us that regardless of our circumstance, the Lord is loving, merciful, and He will guide us. God Faith Interrupters might shake our faith. They can be scary. They certainly will be unexpected and uncomfortable, but the Lord holds the charge of power to uphold our faith even when it shuts down temporarily. We must turn to Him.

Express to the Lord your fear of a "God Faith Interrupter" tripping you up. Then thank Him that He will be with you, showing you mercy and loving-kindness, no matter what happens in the days ahead. Then resolve to stay plugged into Him, no matter what.
Dear Lord, I prefer those times when my life goes smoothly. However, I ask for an extra measure of faith when my life takes an unexpected twist. Teach me to trust Your sovereignty in my life, and to rely on Your strength. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Masterpiece in the works.....from Crosswalk.com

After reading this devotion today, I realized how others may want to read it also. I hope that this touches you in some way today. ! Lisa

September 24, 2008

Masterpiece in the Making by Gwen Smith

Today's Truth"And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you" (Philippians 1:6, AMP).
Friend to FriendIt took four years of fresco painting for the Italian Renaissance sculptor, painter, architect, and poet Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni, to finish the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Commonly known as Michelangelo, his time painting was mostly spent alone, on his back, lying on scaffolding. (How painful!) The painting on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel is one of the most remarkable in the history of Western art. One thing is for sure: the process that altered a ceiling from plain to fabulous required a lot of time, great discipline, and the hand of a master artist. The same is true for us. The journey from broken into beautiful is a lifelong transformation that requires both discipline and a Master Artist.

As Michelangelo was working, I'm sure that lots of people came through the corridors of the chapel and stood in amazement. As they looked up at the beauty of his work, I bet they said things like, "That is the most fantastic work of art I have ever seen!" or "Extraordinary!" To which he might have said, "It's not done!" But did the unfinished state of the project negate that parts of the ceiling were beautiful? No! The parts that were complete were still extravagant and breathtaking.

Maybe this is the way God and others see our lives. It's common for people to notice the work God has done in us and comment on the beauty. And even though compliments are nice to hear, I've been known to resist them. (Admit it, you probably have too.) It's not so much a humility thing as it is an "I-don't-see-myself-as-beautiful" thing. From my limited perspective, I can see only the unfinished work. But in truth, my vantage point doesn't negate the beauty of the work God has done and is doing in my life.

Real beauty isn't about a finished or flawless product. It can't be. It's not possible on this side of eternity to have completed beauty. Our restoration will be complete in the presence of God when we see Him face to face.

Now, you might be saying, "But Gwen, I can't be beautiful! You don't know what I've done...or what I've been through...or what I'm going through!"

Friend, God knows where you have been, what you have been through, and where you are now. He knows what your flaws are and loves you in spite of your imperfections. His tender love is far-reaching and complete.

Your past sins do not define you.

Your painful scars do not define you.

Your present sufferings do not define you.

They are just shards of brokenness that God will use to lovingly refine your beauty. The transformation from broken into beautiful is neither easy nor instantaneous. It demands a yielded heart and can be quite painful, but it comes with great reward. God will need your broken pieces--your scars, shame, insecurities, disappointments, betrayals, and failures.

Do you have some of those?

Are they tucked away in a safe, do-not-enter part of your heart?
You might find it hard to hand over hurts. I get that. It's hard for me too. But difficult as it may be, it's time to hand them over and let our masterful Lord create a stunning work of beauty in you. And He's going to need all of your broken pieces to complete the restoration.
Let's PrayHoly Father, I am humbled by Your willingness to love and forgive someone like me. Please take the broken pieces of my life and don't allow me to have them back. I surrender to Your healing. Mold me and shape me into a beautiful reflection of Your glory. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Now It's Your TurnRead Isaiah 64:8, "Yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand."

Meditate on this verse. Read it again and personalize it in a prayerful response to God: "Yet, O LORD, you are MY Father. I AM the clay, you are the potter; I AM the work of your hand."